Dear Kids,
You live in a beautiful world!
Your Father in Heaven made this a wonderful place to be.
Not only are we surrounded with natural beauty; mountains, trees, fields, flowers, and rain (to name a few), but we are surrounded by people who are friendly, who love and who care for others.
The Gonthier family motto is: "Amour Sans Crainte" which is latin for 'Love without fear.'
As a Mormon, and a very naive one at that, I've spent most of my life being quick to judge. I never felt hate towards people but I did see them as being and doing wrong.
It can be very common in the Mormon culture to develop a judgmental attitude. I know that we can indulge in the thinking that our religion and our thoughts are the best, the most right and the only answer.
You live in a beautiful world!
Your Father in Heaven made this a wonderful place to be.
Not only are we surrounded with natural beauty; mountains, trees, fields, flowers, and rain (to name a few), but we are surrounded by people who are friendly, who love and who care for others.
The Gonthier family motto is: "Amour Sans Crainte" which is latin for 'Love without fear.'
As a Mormon, and a very naive one at that, I've spent most of my life being quick to judge. I never felt hate towards people but I did see them as being and doing wrong.
It can be very common in the Mormon culture to develop a judgmental attitude. I know that we can indulge in the thinking that our religion and our thoughts are the best, the most right and the only answer.
But it is our duty as humans to have beliefs. I think it is our duty to have different beliefs. We aren't supposed to be the same. We aren't supposed to want the exact same things. It is our duty to stand out, and use our agency as we please.
It is also our duty to respect each other's beliefs. We live in a time where respect isn't always what it should be.
Respect is allowing others to be different. Respect is understanding that others are different. Respect is accepting others differences - accepting all of their differences.
It is also our duty to respect each other's beliefs. We live in a time where respect isn't always what it should be.
Respect is allowing others to be different. Respect is understanding that others are different. Respect is accepting others differences - accepting all of their differences.
If I truly believe in a God that sent me here and gave me complete agency, then I must also believe that everyone else got the same deal, whether they believe it or not. And if I believe that God gave others their agency, then I must accept that others don't believe in the same things that I do.
If I judge others for their beliefs, then they can surely judge me for mine!
Henry B. Eyring said: "We cannot force God's children to choose the way to happiness. God cannot do that because of the agency He has given us."
If I forget to allow others to exercise agency then do I really even understand and live what I say I believe?
I recently witnessed a debate unfold in regards to a man's decision to allow the public to follow him on his personal journey through a sex change to become a woman. There was an article shared and the debate ensued with hateful words and naive acquisitions towards this man.
Kids, this is a topic that is close to my heart as a woman, wife, mother and member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
I wish I could say that I always had this understanding. I wish I could say that I felt this way from the beginning.
But it wasn't until recent years that I have come to understand the Savior's plea to "Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." John 13:34
It wasn't until my brother announced that he was gay, that my heart began to change and my understanding began to broaden. It wasn't until I had to make a decision between being judgmental or loving my brother.
Fortunately, it wasn't a hard decision. I love my brother! Nothing changed except that before, I didn't know he was gay, and now I did! He was still my really tall, little brother.
It was as simple as that.
In this time of technology, we are constantly bombarded with opinions. Everyone wants to get their opinion, their 'right' opinion out there. We each believe that what we feel is the most right.
And this is where I think we get confused, because what each of us feel is the most right. We each have our own agency and what we want to believe for ourselves, is right.
The problem comes when we forget that that means everyone else is just as right.
Now, does this mean that we have to believe what others believe? No! Does it mean we shouldn't stand up for what we believe in? No!
"Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone's lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don't have to compromise convictions to be compassionate." ~Rick Warren
It is absolutely possible to talk about and live my beliefs without harming those who don't believe the same thing as I do. We do not have to participate in any form of negativity towards others.
I had a discussion once where sadness was expressed over the fact that my children would be raised in the mindset of the LDS culture. I was a little offended. They are my kids, who was this person to try and tell me I was wrong?
But then I realized that I had done the same to others before. I have observed others choices and felt sadness over the choices they were making, that I would not make. We can't ask people not to be sad over the decisions we are making and then turn around and be sad with the ones they are making.
People with different beliefs won't always accept or respect your beliefs and I hope that we can work towards changing that. But that just means that I have to make that change, where I can. I can't sit back and think "I won't change because so and so is attacking my beliefs. It's not fair that I can't judge but they can." It doesn't make sense to want acceptance but not be willing to be accepting.
I know my brother and I know he is a good kid. I also know that people are quick to judge him and that makes me sad! I was one of those people; quick to judge. If I have learned anything, it is that I really don't know what people are going through. And people might say one thing but feel another, even people we feel very close to, and people we feel we know really well.
It is one thing to express your beliefs about a subject. It is another thing to use someone else's life and experiences to express or argue about the correctness or 'rightness' of your beliefs. Especially when you don't know what they are going through or what they have gone through.
Heavenly Father has a plan for every one of us and you know what? Sometimes those plans don't involve the church. Sometimes those plans don't involve the Celestial Kingdom. If everyone's plan ended in The Celestial Kingdom, why would we have the others?
God has given us some ability to judge actions in this life. But in the end, it will never be our place to judge hearts and minds. In the end, we will be asked to own up to our own decisions, actions and words but we will never be asked to give input on others decisions, actions and words.
So absolutely, stand up for what you believe in, whatever it is.
But please don't use someone else's life to justify those beliefs because in the end, you will never know exactly what they are going through.
Only one person can know that.
"I would encourage members of the Church wherever they may be to show kindness and respect for all people everywhere. The world in which we live is filled with diversity. We can and should demonstrate respect toward those whose beliefs differ from ours."
~President Thomas S. Monson
When Christ was ministering he gave two commandments; Love God and Love thy neighbor. These basic commandments stem every other commandment that has been given.
Kids, your dad and I will always love you, no matter what. We hope that you have learned what 'true love' is. That love has no bounds. We hope that we have taught you to love as Christ loved. We hope that we can live as President Uchtdorf counseled us to:
"Once again the Savior revealed the way. When asked to name the greatest commandment, He did not hesitate. "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind," He said. "This is the first and great commandment." Coupled with the second great commandment - to love our neighbor as ourselves - we have a compass that provides direction not only for our lives but also for the Lord's Church on both sides of the veil.
Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk."
(Dieter F. Uchtdorf, October 2009 'The Love of God')
Love,
Mom and Dad
If I judge others for their beliefs, then they can surely judge me for mine!
Henry B. Eyring said: "We cannot force God's children to choose the way to happiness. God cannot do that because of the agency He has given us."
If I forget to allow others to exercise agency then do I really even understand and live what I say I believe?
I recently witnessed a debate unfold in regards to a man's decision to allow the public to follow him on his personal journey through a sex change to become a woman. There was an article shared and the debate ensued with hateful words and naive acquisitions towards this man.
Kids, this is a topic that is close to my heart as a woman, wife, mother and member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
I wish I could say that I always had this understanding. I wish I could say that I felt this way from the beginning.
But it wasn't until recent years that I have come to understand the Savior's plea to "Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." John 13:34
Fortunately, it wasn't a hard decision. I love my brother! Nothing changed except that before, I didn't know he was gay, and now I did! He was still my really tall, little brother.
It was as simple as that.
In this time of technology, we are constantly bombarded with opinions. Everyone wants to get their opinion, their 'right' opinion out there. We each believe that what we feel is the most right.
And this is where I think we get confused, because what each of us feel is the most right. We each have our own agency and what we want to believe for ourselves, is right.
The problem comes when we forget that that means everyone else is just as right.
Now, does this mean that we have to believe what others believe? No! Does it mean we shouldn't stand up for what we believe in? No!
"Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone's lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don't have to compromise convictions to be compassionate." ~Rick Warren
It is absolutely possible to talk about and live my beliefs without harming those who don't believe the same thing as I do. We do not have to participate in any form of negativity towards others.
I had a discussion once where sadness was expressed over the fact that my children would be raised in the mindset of the LDS culture. I was a little offended. They are my kids, who was this person to try and tell me I was wrong?
But then I realized that I had done the same to others before. I have observed others choices and felt sadness over the choices they were making, that I would not make. We can't ask people not to be sad over the decisions we are making and then turn around and be sad with the ones they are making.
People with different beliefs won't always accept or respect your beliefs and I hope that we can work towards changing that. But that just means that I have to make that change, where I can. I can't sit back and think "I won't change because so and so is attacking my beliefs. It's not fair that I can't judge but they can." It doesn't make sense to want acceptance but not be willing to be accepting.
I know my brother and I know he is a good kid. I also know that people are quick to judge him and that makes me sad! I was one of those people; quick to judge. If I have learned anything, it is that I really don't know what people are going through. And people might say one thing but feel another, even people we feel very close to, and people we feel we know really well.
It is one thing to express your beliefs about a subject. It is another thing to use someone else's life and experiences to express or argue about the correctness or 'rightness' of your beliefs. Especially when you don't know what they are going through or what they have gone through.
Heavenly Father has a plan for every one of us and you know what? Sometimes those plans don't involve the church. Sometimes those plans don't involve the Celestial Kingdom. If everyone's plan ended in The Celestial Kingdom, why would we have the others?
God has given us some ability to judge actions in this life. But in the end, it will never be our place to judge hearts and minds. In the end, we will be asked to own up to our own decisions, actions and words but we will never be asked to give input on others decisions, actions and words.
So absolutely, stand up for what you believe in, whatever it is.
But please don't use someone else's life to justify those beliefs because in the end, you will never know exactly what they are going through.
Only one person can know that.
"I would encourage members of the Church wherever they may be to show kindness and respect for all people everywhere. The world in which we live is filled with diversity. We can and should demonstrate respect toward those whose beliefs differ from ours."
~President Thomas S. Monson
When Christ was ministering he gave two commandments; Love God and Love thy neighbor. These basic commandments stem every other commandment that has been given.
Kids, your dad and I will always love you, no matter what. We hope that you have learned what 'true love' is. That love has no bounds. We hope that we have taught you to love as Christ loved. We hope that we can live as President Uchtdorf counseled us to:
"Once again the Savior revealed the way. When asked to name the greatest commandment, He did not hesitate. "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind," He said. "This is the first and great commandment." Coupled with the second great commandment - to love our neighbor as ourselves - we have a compass that provides direction not only for our lives but also for the Lord's Church on both sides of the veil.
Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk."
(Dieter F. Uchtdorf, October 2009 'The Love of God')
Love,
Mom and Dad
