KG Squared: Whole30: Day 1

Whole30 - Day 1

Ok, so it wasn't as great of a day as I thought it would be.

Our breakfast ended up being not as filling as I thought it would be.

So I was hungry again soon.

I kind of failed in preparing a lunch, so that didn't go over well either. But I've always had a hard time eating lunch, and without a PB&J to quickly throw together, I failed.

Then a lovely person came and 'F-bombed' my porch for a few minutes. This sweet person definitely attacked me and the work I do as a manager. They made me mad and frustrated.

I wanted chocolate.

Or ice cream.

Or a doughnut.

Instead, I called Kyle and cried, and then went on a walk.

I walked to Macey's because I don't like to wander around my ~~safe~~ sketchy neighborhood. Don't worry, I knew I wouldn't buy any sweets. I just needed an end point to walk to.

On my way there though I fell into my old habit of thinking:

"That person was so mean, I deserve chocolate"

(this is where the story get's good)

Right after I thought that I then thought:

"That's literally the craziest thing I've ever said. Some idiot person that yelled at me because they have a pathetic life should not be controlling how I take care of myself. That loser doesn't have any say in how I feel. I don't need chocolate because they haven't made anything of their life and take it out on me. I get to feel good because I deserve it."

If you know me, you won't believe it's really me typing these things.

I. LOVE. SUGAR.

milk duds, chocolate ice cream, cake batter ice cream, (ok let's be honest, I love a lot of different kinds of ice cream), oreos, peanut butter cups, M&M cookies, Giant M&M's in my popcorn, fast breaks, chocolate molten lava cakes.

Guys - and Gals - my first email address was iloveskittles@yahoo.com

If that doesn't sum up my addiction, I don't know what does.

So my first day doing the Whole30 was not the best day. My evil side says that someone would yell at me the day I can't eat my comfort foods. My friendly side says "You go girl! You are better than that!"

In the end, it was liberating to look those doughnuts in the frosting and say "I don't need you!"

And then to say "You're a new Kayla. You're a stronger Kayla. You're a better Kayla. You're a healthy Kayla."

For dinner, our friends invited us over to BBQ. And although it was for reasons that made me jealous, it was another good test.

They marinated their chicken in homemade BBQ sauce and it smelled and looked perfect. Kyle and I marinated our Tilapia in a mango marinade.

The old Kayla would have been jealous of their juicy meat. But the new Kayla is proud! Proud to be making healthier choices. Someday I will eat a juicy homemade BBQ marinated chicken. But I have to own up to my mistakes first. Fix my body, kick my bad habits and take control! Then I can eat whatever (healthy) thing I want, with an occasional treat.

As for Kyle, he had a pretty good day. He agreed that breakfast was lacking. But he took a lunch and it filled him up. He did want gum at one point, but he gave it away so as to not tempt him.

We are both proud of ourselves for making better choices. My goal for this year is to actually complete my goals. But to set them first. I want to feel better about who I am and the choices I make, in all aspects of life. And I really believe that for me, it starts with food.

I also made a few snack/easy lunch items:

Carrots: Sprinkle with extra virgin olive oil and cinnamon. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes