There Will Always Be Good

I was living in California and I was in 6th grade.

We were on our way to school, my sister, my dad and I. One of us was telling a story, pointless probably, when my dad told us to stop talking and he turned up the radio (how rude).

He said something about the pentagon, he was shocked but I really didn't understand what he meant. A plane crashed into a building in New York? How far was New York anyway? I was young enough that the weight of what this meant did not effect me right away.

15 years later, with my husband attending the Eastern Missouri Police Academy, my view on the events of September 11, 2001 has drastically changed.

411 emergency workers (60 police, 343 firefighters, 8 paramedics) left their homes on September 11th and never went back home. 411 people gave their lives trying to save the lives of others. 411 people dedicated their careers and thus, their lives to serving the communities in which they lived.

Soon I will be sending my husband out the door everyday, not knowing if he will make it back home alive. He might not be going out to the aftermath of a terrorist attack, but he will be going out to fight for the safety of the civilians in his community.

I know that the world is kind of a scary place to be right now. In the middle of Kyle's 6 month program, Police officers have been at the center of a lot of the hate. There has been ample opportunity to quit. There have been numerous times where I could have told him 'No more. I can't handle it.'

But I also believe the world that we are living in, the heartache and anger that we constantly feel, are part of the plan.

"For thousands of years, followers of Jesus Christ have looked forward to the Second Coming... But before the Savior comes, the people of the earth will experience great trials and calamities. The prophets have warned that the earth will experience great turmoil, wickedness, war and suffering."

"The time before the Second Coming will be a time of trouble such as the earth has never known." Daniel 12:1

"All things shall be in commotion and fear shall come upon all people."

Doctrine and Covenants 88:91

But prophets have given us this counsel "Be not discouraged when we tell you of perilous times for they must shortly come." "The Lord gives us these signs to help us. We can put our lives in order and prepare ourselves and our families for those things yet to come."

Despite the evil out there, I am excited for Kyle's career choice. I think about those emergency workers that responded to the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

They didn't back down.

They put on their uniforms and their brave faces, and they gave their lives for a great cause. Those men and woman wanted a career that allowed them to make a difference.

I think of those families left behind. Their heartache was overwhelming. But their pride was overflowing. Pride for their loved ones selflessness.

I hope I never have to feel the heartache of September 11th. But when there is great suffering, there is great love.

If there is anything that those events can teach us, it is that love will always win. Love will shine through the darkness.

Whether you believe in God or not, you can't deny the existence of good and evil.

And if you look for it, there will always, always be good out there.

Growing Up!

Dear Kiddos,

YOU'RE BOTH GROWING SO MUCH!!

I don't know why I felt like I needed to yell that…

Kacie, you still love to read and I still love that you love to read! (I need to start reading again…)

Sometimes Kalvin, I realize that I have so many pictures of Kacie doing nothing, because I was required to send daily pictures to your grandparents and aunts and uncles. And it's not that I don't take lots of pictures of you, it's just that it really isn't easy to take pictures of you doing nothing because when you're doing nothing, I have to be taking care of your sister.

Anyway, Sometimes I remember that and so I will snap a picture of whatever it is you are doing that moment and then I get precious gems like this one where you're in a milk-drunk-mouth-hanging-open-coma and I LOVE them!

I've mentioned several times that Kacie you love to be doing what Kalvin is doing, but you really just love to be doing what everyone is doing. So one day when dad was mowing the lawn, you really wanted to be out there with him! And once he had you strapped on, you stayed there the whole time! It's a good thing you're a small 2 year old because you're at the end of the carriers weight limit.

Sometimes, we like to test you kids limits… That probably sounds harsh, but it's all harmless as long as we catch you! When we hold you on your sides Kalvin you will support your weight with your legs so I figured I would just test it out. At 3 months old you held yourself up (with the help of the chair obviously) for almost a full minute! 

Hanging out with Aunt Kassidi

Ok Kacie, you are really growing up so fast! You love your Uncle Devin. Every day, you walk around saying "Deeeeviiiiiin! Where are you???" One day you and I were sitting and eating breakfast. I was drinking some water in this cool cup when all the sudden you made the Kyle face, got really excited and said "Devin! Devin! Devin!" and I said "I don't think Devin is here right now." And you were still really excited and then pointed to this kid on my cup! You thought your Uncle Devin was on the cup! And that is how your Uncle Devin joined the band One Direction.

For graduation your daddy got a bike trailer. We are working on getting the bike to pull the trailer! but for now, we set it up and went for a walk. Kalvin slid around a lot. This was definitely not made for infants, but thats ok, we will try again in a while!

Kalvin, you are rolling over now! It feels so different as you reach milestones because we also have Kacie to pay attention too. So we are really excited when you do things but it feels like they happen so fast! I need you to slow it down and stay little for a while longer, thanks.

You are really starting to get interested in toys and I love this mat thing because you kids always seem to end up this way! Maybe the manufacturers should take note that you want to be 'covered' with toys.

Grandma Tracey bought you these adorable PJ's. You look so dapper!

Kacie wanted to get a picture in her jammies too!

Cool dude!

Unfortunately because we are living with your grandparents, we don't have a great place to put the jumper. Kacie hung out in this aaaallll the time, and we think it really helped her to start walking as early as she did (although every kid is different). Anyway, I try to put you in it as much as I can but I think you like to be on the ground more. But maybe it's because your little feet are on tile and also because you throw up a lot and slip in it, yuck! Whatever the case, you are cute! Only 6 months and we will know if it helped you walk or not!

Whenever I let you play on the iPad, Kacie, I always make you stop and talk to me every once in a while (it makes me feel less guilty). This time I told you to smile and you took out your pacifier and said "cheese!"

You are in this phase where you put your foot on the table while you eat. I think you keep doing it because it gets a reaction. People laugh at you so you have to put on a show! Hopefully you'll grow out of it, but for now it's cute.

You are an amazing artist! You actually try to color in the lines occasionally. 

But sometimes you miss and get it on your face...

Or my knee...

But you get really focused when you color.

It's very cute!

Kalvin, you fell asleep on the floor one morning. I wish I could fall asleep as easily as you! Your daddy is so good. He will wake up with you early in the morning and hang out with you while you decide sleeping at 5:00 am isn't cool. 

Hanging out with my kiddos!

We were at Target one night and we walked past the most adorable little syrup bottles. I picked one up and was showing your dad and probably saying something like "look at this adorable little baby syrup! We should have another baby! Isn't it the cutest little bottle you've ever seen?"

Anyway, I was taking a picture of it to send to your Aunt Ang and then you took it from me and said 'Take picture!' so I took a picture!

We were really hoping to potty train you by now. I've been reading about it a little and a lot of people say wait until the kid is ready. So I decided to buy you some panties to just let you try them out and see how you feel about the idea of going on the toilet. This was the first time you had them on and you were hilarious!

I think you liked how they felt, and obviously the fact that they have Minnie Mouse on them!

You were dancing around and smiling in them! So we will see how potty training goes!

One of my favorite things is baby burritos! I just love to stare at you guys sleeping when you are bundled up like a tiny, delicious, adorable burrito!

Aunt Kassidi was babysitting for the week so she brought the kids over one morning. You always LOVE being with other kids, even if they are slightly intimidated by you Kacie!

It's hard to imagine how you two will be in 6 months. You grow and change so much each day that I get excited thinking about what you will be doing in 180 days!

But don't change too much because that will make us miss our babies!

We love you!

Mom and Dad