No Penis...That is the Answer!

Dear Baby Girl,

 Yup, you are a little girl!

Oh my goodness! I just can't wait to meet you.

This was the coolest thing ever. Watching you move around and squirm on that ultrasound screen was so amazing. I didn't cry but I think my heart finally started beating normal again. I swear I was going to start hyperventilating if I had to wait any longer!

Dad says he was nervous too but he said he wasn't having trouble breathing. haha

Well, the nurse just went through everything and showed us exactly what they are looking for and showed us how they measure everything and showed us that you look good and are growing healthy so far!

As we watched you move around on the screen I was just speechless! I still can't wrap my head around the thought that there is someone inside of me! At the end of the appointment she asked if there was anything else we wanted to see again or if we had questions and I said "Well, I'd love to just come back and do this every day!" But apparently that would cost a lot of money... Blast!

Profile Picture!

You're a girl!

 You were rolling around a lot and we saw your little mouth moving. I told daddy you were saying "mommy" over and over.

I really, really thought you were going to be a boy. At one point while we were looking at the ultrasound but before she told us you were a girl, I thought I saw a little penis... But I was wrong! I was surprised that you were a girl but not disappointed at all.

Kyle kept asking the nurse all these 'medical' terms about body parts and brain parts and heart parts... So I kind of tuned out a little because I was enthralled with watching you move around.

19 Weeks and 6 days!

Well, dad had to go back to work and then had class. After he got home, we went to Walmart and bought a few clothes for you. I was just way too excited to wait. Then I spent a few hours calling my family to tell them the news. Dad got to tell his family a little later. We're all so excited!

We were trying to decide between naming you Karrie or Kacie. In the end, we decided Kacie. Although, this could change! We really feel like you're a Kacie Jean Gonthier right now and I don't really see that changing but I guess you never really know!

So for now my sweet Kacie I will say good night and thanks for making our day so great!

Love,

Mom and Dad

Penis or No Penis, That is the Question!

Dear Baby G,

Could this month go any slower?

Seriously.

We have your ultrasound appointment today and we will get to find out if you are a boy or girl! I woke up at 6:30 because I had to go to the bathroom. I was still really tired but I just couldn't fall back asleep because I'm so nervous and excited.

Daddy just started a new job yesterday and I was so worried he wouldn't be able to make it to the appointment. Don't worry though, his boss is really cool I guess and said it wasn't a problem at all. Whew, Crisis averted!

Speaking of jobs, we still manage these apartments and part of the job is to shovel snow. I kind of thought we were over the snow phase this winter (I've been in Arizona too long I guess) and when we woke up today it was completely covered in snow outside! Your daddy is pretty amazing and went out to take care of it before work. Sometimes I feel guilty because I don't do as much as he does. If I weren't carrying you in my belly though, I'd definitely go out and shovel for him!

I drove dad to work and guess what Baby G!? I drove in the snow for the first time and I didn't crash! I was sliding and driving 15 miles an hour but I feel like I accomplished something with my life. Haha. Let's hope after today I never have to drive in the snow again...

Anyway, back to you! =)

So far the majority of people think you are going to be a boy and so do I but we will see! Mom, oops! I mean Grandma Jarvis and Uncle Jerm both say girl but Grandpa Jarvis, Aunt Ang and Uncle Greg, Uncle Colin and Aunt Aub all say boy. I think Grandma Tracey says boy too.

If you hide yourself so we can't find out, I will ground you. Please, please, please!! be a good little baby and cooperate for momma!

Gosh, you're stressing me out already!

Love,
Mom and Dad

P.S. Sorry for the slightly inappropriate title... but hey! That is the question we're all waiting for an answer on, isn't it?!

BFFAA

I did not forget her birthday, I just forgot to publish this post about it!

My Best Friend Forever and Always, Jeanne Sierra - I mean Jeanne Layton! - had her birthday on the 22nd.

I met Jeanne back in California in 4th grade. She lived around the corner from me and we became best of friends. I have pictures of us from when we were younger but they are all from disposable camera's so I don't have them on the computer. Blast. We were so cute! One reason we were so close is because my middle name is Jean, so basically we are like twins.

Anyway... When I moved to AZ it was sad to go but I soon lost touch with Jeanne. Then, this thing called Facebook (you may have heard of it) came around and we were reunited... well sort of. We began to write letters back and forth and eventually decided we needed to see each other.

In August of 2008 Jeanne flew to AZ to spend a week with me. It was such an amazing week!

I always have a great time with Jeanne. When we get together we can just talk and talk forever! It's not everyday that you find someone who is willing to love you no matter what has happened over the years and I am so grateful that I found Jeanne.

Isn't she just gorgeous?

It was so windy at Tempe Town Lake Bridges that night!

We made 'Best Friend Bears'

(I did not take this photo and am in no way taking responsibility for it. They just look so good I had to include it Such a beautiful bride!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the best friend in the world.

I love that we are still friends after all these years! I know we don't see each other nearly enough but I look forward to keeping in touch over the years and staying BFFAA's!

I love you!

Dear self

I've been writing a lot of notes to the baby and I still plan to but I decided to write a little note to myself as well. I know, so selfish!

Dear 13 year old self.

When the family moves to Arizona, don't be so afraid of talking. The people that you meet will end up being some of your best friends and they will like you. I promise! And hang out with that red head in your gym class more often. She's legit.

Dear 16 year old self,

It's ok to talk to boys. It'll be scary and you might get a little hurt but I promise you'll have fun and it will make you stronger! And mom and dad probably won't kill you if you date.

Dear 18 year old self,

RAT isn't a bad choice. You'll make some great friends. But maybe you should look into Ultrasound Technology school. I think it'll be beneficial in the long run. I know it'd help me out a lot now.

Dear 20 year old self,

Breathe.

Dear 22 year old self,

There will literally be a tiny human growing inside of you. But just try and be patient until then. When it happens, it'll go by fast! Oh, and don't stop going to the gym for as long as you did. You're getting a little lazy.

Dear 23 year old self,

Only two and a half months left. Don't stop going to the gym. It'll be annoying some days but I know you can do it! You'll probably hide from the camera for a few months but make sure you don't lose it before June. I think you're going to want it then!

Dear Future self,

Dang. You look good. Keep up the good work on losing that baby fat!

Dear Self in general,
Life is good. So don't let the hard times get you down. Remember that Heavenly Father loves you and is looking out for you. Just don't forget to ask for help when you need it!

Dear Kyle,
I am so thankful to have you in my life every single day! I can't believe that what started out as family-friends has turned into our own little family. My 8 year old self never thought I'd be so lucky as to marry such a hottie like you! I love you more and more each day!

Oh and dear 8 year old self,
That kid, Kyle Gonthier, you're going to marry him someday. Ya. So don't be too shy around him... he's going to find out all of your secrets anyway!

Pregnancy Brain - It's real.

Dear Baby G,

Today you are 19 weeks exactly.

I hear though that due dates get changed pretty frequently around 20 weeks so I am excited to see what happens at our next appointment!

I thought it might be a good idea for me to remember some of the crazy (and weird) things about being pregnant. 

Now you might be thinking to yourself, "Seriously mom? How could you ever forget anything about carrying another human inside of you for 9 months?!"

And I would answer, "Pregnancy Brain. It's real."

Some times I do really good. I totally feel like myself and almost feel like I'm not even pregnant. But the majority of the time I'm forgetful, frazzled, clumsy, spacey (is that even a word?), tired and unorganized.

I can't snack on chips and drive at the same time.

I forget steps in recipes consistently.

I drop things.

I used to be able to remember everything...now if it's not written down it won't happen.

I always feel like I'm forgetting to do something but I'm never able to remember what I'm forgetting.

If I get distracted in the middle of a sentence, don't expect to hear the rest of it.

Multitasking isn't really an option anymore.

Well, I think you get the point.

Baby G, let me just apologize now because someday I will be pregnant again and you will be alive and you won't be able to escape the pregnancy brain. So I apologize in advance for anything that happens as a result of pregnancy brain while you are alive. Oh, and let's just make a pact now that if I ever try to eat and drive again, you will remind me not too. Because let's be honest, I'll forget.

This next thing might be weird to hear but no one ever said pregnancy was all fun and games! Since the very beginning of being pregnant my tailbone has hurt. This has been the worst part of being pregnant so far. Well, I guess it might not be my actual tailbone. I hear that it can be caused because of the progesterone being released to help loosen the joints. I've also had some tell me it could be that my tilted uterus is pushing on my tailbone. Either way, it's painful and when I stand up I sometimes look like I've forgotten how to stand up like a normal person. But it hurts soooo bad!

I haven't had a lot of cravings but things I have craved include, Subway BLT, Deviled Eggs, Lemon Poppyseed Cake, Jolly Ranchers (my body wash smells like jolly ranchers), and Little Ceasar's Pizza. Healthy right?

Another tough thing has been having to eat more small meals instead of 3 big ones. I just get tired of trying to pick something out that is healthy and filling every 3 hours. I'm getting better but I won't miss this part once you're born. If I eat too much then it feels like my food is just sitting in my throat waiting for me to make a wrong move. If I don't eat enough then I feel sick and sometimes even throw up. It is not fun. But Tums have become my friend. They seem to settle down my stomach.

And last I have started to call myself the 'Super Sniffer' like Gus from Psych. I can smell everything 10x stronger than before. Like I walked out of a store today and I could smell Krispy Kreme doughnuts and KK was about a mile away. It's not a good thing. But that's a positive example. I'll spare you stories of other things...

So towards the middle of December I started to feel better. I even got to a point where I thought I was feeling pretty great! But about 2 weeks ago I woke up feeling sooo good. I had completely forgotten what it felt like to feel good for real! I have been getting a lot of things done around the house. But the last couple of days I've been feeling sick. Bummer! I guess it will just be like this for the next 5 months!

5 months is a long time... but I'm sure it will go by way too fast and you'll be here before we know it!

Only 6 days until my next appointment and 7 until I'm halfway!

Can You Hear Me Now?

Dear Baby G,

Today you are 18 weeks and 2 days old.

Although I am not really sure I want to rush the 'bigger belly' stage (A.K.A. uncomfortable sleep stage), at the same time I think I might.

Right now I kind of just look like I'm getting fat. And while the people that really matter know that I am pregnant, not fat, I also would like everyone else to know I'm pregnant, not fat.

On the flip side, can we stay small for a little while longer. My pants still fit and it's cold outside. If you start growing too fast I won't be able to just wear comfortable dresses all the time because my legs will freeze and break off.

They tell me you can hear dad and I now. Sometimes we yell things like "Good Morning!" or "'Daddy's Home," at my belly because we're not sure how well you can hear through all those layers of muscle, (fat), and uterus...TMI? If you can hear pretty well then we apologize for being so loud. Sometimes we just get so excited that we can't help ourselves!

Only 11 more days until my next appointment! Do you think we can make it?

Love,
Mom and Dad

Inspiration...

"I bear testimony to you that this work is true, that our Savior lives, and that He guides and directs His church here upon the earth... I leave with you my testimony that God our Eternal Father lives and loves us. He is indeed our Father, and He is personal and real.
May we realize and understand how close to us He is willing to come, how far He is willing to go to help us, how much He loves us, and how much He does, and is willing to do, for us."

Thomas S. Monson

Dear Baby

Dear baby G

I had my first visit to the doctor today!

I was soooo nervous I made my blood pressure go a little high!

Last night I had a dream that I missed the appointment because I was at church. Good thing that dream was not true! Along with the dream I had last week that they told me I wasn't really pregnant! I'm really glad that dream didn't come true!

Your dad says he was also nervous at first. Seeing you was exciting but then he felt overwhelmed! Taking care of you will be a big responsibility.

So I gave the urine sample, answered a few questions, they gave me a gown and I couldn't figure out how to put it on or what clothes I was supposed to take off/leave on. I was so flustered!

The doctor came in and was talking to me about all the stuff about being pregnant (foods, exercise, weight gain...) and the whole time I'm just sitting there thinking "Ok, that's all great and important but are you sure I'm even pregnant?!?!"

Apparently you are 16 1/2 weeks old! (a week and a half further than I thought!) And she said the Estimated delivery date is June 19th, which is exactly what I originally calculated! I really hope you come within a day or two of that date. June 11th is our anniversary and I'm going to be selfish and pray that your birthday is not on our wedding anniversary. Your dads birthday is on June 24th and I'd be ok with you coming then (best birthday present ever!) except that it's a few days late and I imagine by that point I'll be ready to have you in my arms. I'm so excited to see what happens!

I learned my uterus is tilted back a little. Because of the tilting, she was unable to hear your heart beat with the little machine. Instead she wheeled a super old ultrasound machine into the office and let us look at you! You're really there!

This is not you, I got this off Google... but you get the point ;)

Maybe this is weird but I think you were talking to Heavenly Father and decided to move around a lot so that she couldn't hear your heart beat. This (soon-to-be) momma needed to actually see that something is inside of me so I can stop stressing about this all being a dream!

It was so cool. She says she could see your heart beat but dad and I couldn't really. But we could see you moving a little and 'breathing'. I was just telling dad that even though I was freaking out before this appointment, now I am excited to go back to see you again and talk about you more. Is it possible to get addicted to the OB GYN office?

She told me everything looks good and sent us on our way!

Because I am already so far my next appointment will be on January 29th and we will get to find out (hopefully) if you're a mini-dad or mini-mom! I say hopefully because if you're as stubborn as you were today we'll never know!

I originally definitely wanted you to be a girl. The past few months though I've come to the conclusion that the pro's and con's of boy or girl are the same and I'd be perfectly satisfied with boy or girl. But I have a feeling you're a boy. A stubborn little boy just like your father! We'll see though, in exactly three weeks from today...

AHHH!!

Well, apparently I don't have any baby pictures of me on my computer so here are a few cute ones of dad... wait until you see mine though. I'm freakin' adorable!

We love you Baby G and can't wait to get to know you better!

Love,

Mom and dad

P.S. That is the weirdest thing I have ever typed!

Forget Me Not

My cousin was some sort of inspired when she gave Kyle and I this little plant kit for Christmas...

Along with the plant she gave us this quote:

"There is something inspiring and sublime about the little forget-me-not flower. I hope it will be a symbol of the little things that make your lives joyful and sweet. Please never forget that you must be patient and compassionate with yourselves, that some sacrifices are better than others, that you need not wait for a golden ticket to be happy.
Please never forget that the "why" of the gospel of Jesus Christ will inspire and uplift you. And never forget that your Heavenly Father knows, loves and cherishes you.

Just think of it: You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time!!"
~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I've heard the talk before and I even have a book of the talk. Maybe it was the small section she put or maybe it was the timing in which I got the quote but it was brought to me in a new light this time.

I've never been good at new years resolutions. Not like I set a bunch of resolutions and then I don't do better at them but that I just simply never set them at all! But this year there are things that I want to be better at. And I say 'be better' instead of 'do better' because these are things I want to change in me.

To me a new year resolution is so temporal. Like it's a list of goals that you want to improve on to fit your current lifestyle. Blog more, go to the gym more, get better grades, keep my house more clean, etc. And all of those things are wonderful resolutions to have! But I feel like all of the things that I want to be better at in my life will naturally improve if I improve my spiritual self.

So Kyle and I sat down and made our "New Year Things to Help Us Reach the Celestial Kingdom"list. Kyle thought it was weird to call it that but once I explained more what I meant he agreed it was fitting.

Now, Kyle and I have a detailed list of what we are going to work on but in the end we came to a general 'thing to help us reach the celestial kingdom' theme that seems to tie everything together. And I think that is why the above quote stuck out to me so much.

"You need not wait for a golden ticket to be happy"

It is so easy to look at what I have and compare it to what I think others have that I know I want. And instead of working on improving myself and my situation to get what I want, I sit around wishing I  was that other person or in that other situation. I've been working on being happy with what I have and I know I have made a lot of progress. 90% of the time I am completely satisfied with my life.

I have a wonderful family, parents who love me and raised me to be a good person. I married an amazing man that takes such great care of me, more than I deserve. I have a comfortable apartment and a job that allows me to work from home. I have a vehicle that miraculously still starts. I can afford to pay my bills. I have the gospel in my life and the knowledge of The Plan of Happiness. I have clothes to wear, a shower to clean in, blankets to keep me warm and walls to protect me from the current 10 degree weather.

So why then is it so hard for me to be satisfied 100% of the time? Well I'm human, that's why. But there is a way that I can be happy 100% of the time. And that is what President Uchtdorf is trying to teach us.

We hear it all the time: "you are remembered by your Heavenly Father" But President Uchtdorf doesn't just say it. He challenges us to "Just think of it" And as I read this quote that stuck out to me and I did think of it. I really stopped and thought of what this means:

"You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time!!"

If someone like that - someone who has infinite power and time and love - can care about me, than why shouldn't I be happy? If I truly have a testimony that "Heavenly Father knows, loves and cherishes [me]" then why would I ever allow myself to sit around moping when I could be on my knees praying?

So as 2013 starts and Kyle and I embark on our "New Year Things to Help Us Reach the Celestial Kingdom" journey, I look forward with hope and a more positive attitude that no matter what happens, Heavenly Father will be by my side guiding me and more importantly, that I won't forget that.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Dino Boots, Cozy Blankets and Stretchy Pants!

Baby G got some gifts for Christmas too!

These were picked just for Kyle by Aunt Kassidi... He loves Dino's and our child - boy or girl - will wear dinosaur clothing.

I'm ok with that. These are pretty sweet!

From Grandma Tracey and Grandpa G

My favorite gift to Baby G is this blanket from Grandpa Hanes. I just think it is so adorable!!

From Aunt Mallory for our dishwasher!

And from Grandpa Hanes, a few maternity clothes for me!

If I'm being honest, I already have worn both of these shirts and they are definitely meant for later on in pregnancy...

They are so comfortable though!

I'm going to my first doctor's appointment on Tuesday. I don't feel like I am pregnant and I keep having dreams where the doctor tells me I'm not even pregnant. So getting things like this for Christmas was a little a lot weird!

But I'm probably just being paranoid or something. I don't know... It just doesn't feel like I have any real proof! Could Tuesday come any slower????

Christmas!

**WARNING**

Picture overload...

Our Christmas presents...

Waiting for Kyle's family to get up on Christmas morning... I've never had to wait so late in the day!

Papa G's new comb

From my sweet Aunt Diane and family...

From my parents and siblings...

This is such a neat way to count down to Christmas. It's several names for our Savior that you put up every day of the month. I can't wait to use it!

My mom is sending me all of her recipes! Soon I won't have to call her every day for recipes!

From Kyle's mother

Kyle's new Temple bag. He was very excited to get a real one!

Kyle's water polo jacket

Our new kitchen accessories. A pig time and salt and pepper shakers

Kyle's ankle weights to be like Mary from Psych!

Our gift card overload! I got one to Khols as well but I spent it on...

THIS!!!

I love this jacket.

I love my new body pillow!!

Super comfy pants and Jacket.

My present to Kyle. I shadow boxed a bunch of things from his mission. I was dying to give this to him!

Our Hallmark ornament we bought to continue my grandparents tradition...
And yes, if you push it across the floor, it 'pops'!

Kyle's shirt from grandpa

My necklace from Kyle. So gorgeous!

Kyle's new Cardinals PJ's

Kyle's aunt sent everyone in the family one of these sweaters.

They each have our name on the back... Kyle loves it!!

We are so blessed and lucky to have the family that we have. We love all of our gifts that we got and were really glad we had enough room in the car to get them all home! And then to get to open a few more presents after getting home from my family!